It All Comes Down to This

As we celebrate holiday gatherings and dinners with loved ones, we all want a smooth and joyful time without the drama. There is one simple solution for a perfect holiday dinner.  It all comes down to one ingredient and that is love. It’s easy to give and receive love from those who show us love and affection, and who we perceive as flawless.

What about family and friends who push our reactive buttons, test our patience, and challenge our emotions? How can we share and show our love freely with these individuals when, at times, there is tension and stress present? The answer is to set aside the ego’s needs to win. By opening our awareness, we can tap into our inner wisdom and spiritual nature as our guide.

The ego’s way of seeing things is through the eyes of judgment, in search of and finding the faults in others. The reactions, impatience, and emotional challenges we feel are inside of us and the other person is just a catalyst, a mirror. For some families, these issues go back years. These perceived faults we see in others are reflections of different aspects of our self we need to deal with and resolve. When we take responsibility for what we are feeling, healing can begin. This can seem easier said than done.

Holiday time may not be the ideal time to dredge up family tensions and history. However, you cannot control the actions of others, you can only govern your own actions. To that end, I’ll share suggestions for a love-filled, drama-free holiday.

5 Powerful Holiday Tips

Accept and Love Others

Love and anger cannot live at the same time inside of you. Accepting others as they are and loving them for who they are in an art. Understanding and forgiveness are also at play with acceptance. As you go about your days engaging with others silently repeat this Holiday Mantra: I love and accept you, as I love and accept myself.

Discover the Love

Inside each family member, there is a lovable person. Even the cantankerous or domineering ones have a loving softer side.  For some, you may need to go back in time to find that love. When you find it, it will lead you to your light, your own divinity. Love is a path and a spiritual action.

It’s Not Your Story

As you sit around the table, be aware when you are adopting another person’s story and making it your own. Realize it’s not your story and, therefore, none of your business. Remove yourself from the drama. Now, feel the freedom in that statement.

Compassion and Empathy

When you listen to someone’s story, listen to the emotions underlying the words and hear what’s really going on inside of them without judgement or criticism. Be supportive to that person, and offer suggestions only if they ask. Sometimes simply listening without commenting can be healing.

Give Up Being Right

So much energy is wasted trying to prove our point of view. Think about it. Have you ever known someone to change their mind in a discussion? Many times, this type of conversation ends in debate, frustration or anger. Let the other person have their opinion without adding an opposing comment and see what happens.

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About Jan Kinder

Jan Kinder, RN, BA, HN-BC, HWNC-BC, CMT, a leader in holistic nursing and sound healing, is a board-certified health and wellness nurse coach, international speaker and author. Her private practice specializes in holistic stress solutions and resiliency, meditation and spiritual mentoring, and vibrational sound and color light therapies. She is a transformational leader and among the first certified Chopra Center instructors. Ms. Kinder has been featured in publications like Palm Beach Illustrated, Travel and Leisure, Organic Spa, The Wall Street Journal and LA Confidential.

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